Day 28 -OCD: Breaking Out of Isolation - Creating Something New (part three)
6:30 AM
Continuing here with revealing what it is that holds
me back from opening up and reaching out to others. For too long I have limited
myself to the isolation and solitude of OCD, but here I use the tools of
self-forgiveness and self-correction to change this pattern. From here, I leave
the isolation and greet a new world whose arms are open to me so long as my
arms are open as well.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
place differing amounts of worth on others, depending on how much energy or benefit
I think I can gain from the interaction.
When and as I see that I am placing others into an
energetically-based value system, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to
equality by embracing others as me, with an equal value to myself and everyone
else.
I commit myself to stop any judgment of others,
because the only judgment is self-judgment, and to embrace others
unconditionally as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
go into a ‘people pleasing’ character, or to use manipulation tactics, such as
physical movements, voice tonality, or words, in order to try to get people to
‘like’ me, and want to be around or spend time with me, instead of seeing,
realizing and understanding that this would surround me with relationships of dependence
(instead of relationships of support), where those I connect to would come to
me for energy, and I would seek energy from them, because I’ve framed
relationships as a give-and-take, because of the belief that they would
otherwise not want to be or spend time with me, or I would otherwise not want
to spend time with them.
When and as I see myself trying to give or get an
energetic experience out of a relationship, I stop, and I breathe. I bring
myself back to self-honest communication by taking a breath and clearing
myself, clearing my starting point from a desire for energy to a practice in
self-honest communication.
I commit myself to correct myself until self-honest
communication is achieved.
I commit myself to stop myself from communicating in an
exchange-based system of values.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
think, believe or perceive that I have no worth, and nothing to give in an
interaction, except energy.
When and as I see that I am going into an experience
of ‘worthlessness’, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-worth by
reminding myself that I am walking this entire process for me, I am dedicating myself to me, and I am
committing myself to me, because I am the most worthwhile thing that I have.
I commit myself to walk this process for me.
I commit myself to dedicate myself to me.
I commit myself to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my own
thoughts of worthlessness and unworthiness to limit my participation with
others, and thus limit my expression and who I am to only that of giving and
receiving energy (positive or negative feelings/motional charges).
When and as I see that I am limiting my participation
with others due to feelings of worthlessness, I stop, and I breathe. I bring
myself back to self-worth by pushing myself to interact with others, and show
myself through physical actions what my expression is and who I am.
I commit myself to show myself who and what I can be
and am through physical actions instead of the foundationless judgments of the
mind.
I commit myself to push through worthlessness to see,
realize and understand my innate worth that is the same in everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
think and believe that if I don’t use energy to manipulate others, that they
will not want to be with me or spend time with me, instead of seeing and being
my innate worth as a living, breathing being Here.
When and as I see myself trying to control how another
thinks or feels about me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-worth by
reminding myself that I am not responsible for how others feel or think about
me. If I took on that responsibility it would only be to validate some idea I
have about myself, when I could be using the opportunity to create Who I Am ,
utilizing the interaction to find points that require direction, instead of
wasting the opportunity by trying to control it.
I commit myself to wean myself off of the addiction to
emotional and feeling energy.
I commit myself to learn and push and fight for the
power of self-creation.
More self-forgiveness to come!
More self-forgiveness to come!
For now, check out:
If you would like to teach yourself how to find the answer to yourself within yourself, check out DIP Lite, a free online course. I have found this course amazingly supportive, teaching discernment when it comes to what we accept and allow to go on in our minds, and how to direct ourselves to where we want it to be. Did I mention it's free? Give it a try cause there is nothing to lose, and join in the walk to freedom.
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