Day 59 - Yoga and Derma
10:08 AM
I began my
relationship with yoga about 15 years ago, and it was contentious for a long
while. Having struggled with OCD for most of my life, most times getting out
the door in itself is a difficult challenge. Not to mention going into an
intimate class setting and then into some very strange positions. But I never
gave up on yoga - or I should say, i never gave up on myself within and as my
practice.
I have
decided to take on OCD in this life, and in one way or another, everything I do
relates to this battle, either directly or indirectly. Battling OCD is much
like battling an addiction. This battle is also going on
at a dna level, where I've inherited this disorder through genetics. Some would
say this is impossible, at least not without medication.
I did get to
a point where I was advised to take medication, so I have tried medication.
What I did with that is that I learned from it. I could see it's effects on me
and I could see that it would also be possible to have the same impact on
myself through decision-making in self-awareness. So I could mimic the effects
of the medication within myself, but of course, this takes mental-discipline
and consistent self-awareness that I am still developing.
One tool of
support I learned from the interview Creating
Balance while Changing Yourself is how to establish a balance between
letting go of the old, while creating the new. Letting go of OCD while creating
the new me as Who I Am and Will be without this disorder in my life.
Very true,
from the description:
This
interview shares practical and creative ways to give yourself structure as well
as freedom when taking on the more challenging and addictive patterns you want
to change.
It has been
many months since I learned about this balance, and over the months I have
continuously applied the practical application mentioned in the recording.
I wrote out a
list of things I would like to work on developing in my life, and then a brief
'how-to', keeping it very practical in terms of making it very live-able for me
in my life and current situation. The list includes everything from exercising
more regularly, to developing self-expression, maintaining an orderly and tidy
environment to down-time.
This
application gives me the structure and foundation upon which to support myself
to stand as I tackle the challenges of facing OCD. Part of it is the fact that
when I previously tried 'just stopping' OCD, there was a big space, gap or hole
left in my life which I sought to fill and didn't know how. It would inevitable
always lead back to OCD. Or, I would try to replace OCD, but that made
everything I did about the disorder and not about me. There is a slight
difference between replacing and addiction and letting go of an addiction. This
is emphasized in the recording and the outcomes are very different - one leads
to healing while the other to suppression.
2 comments
Addictions are also diseases with genetic components. You suggested that there is a distinction between OCD and addiction here, and there is not.
ReplyDeleteI edited out the distinction for accuracy, thank you for the feedback!
ReplyDelete