Day 40 - The Decision to Stop
10:10 PM
The
decision to stop never really happens in one moment. Even when I make a decision to
stand in one moment and I stand, I realize that the moment was never an isolated
incident. Moments of Decision Making and 'Taking A Stand' open up, but are only
ever the result of all the other moments that took place before, the thousands of
little moments that accumulated and contributed to who we are in this moment
Here. this is what determines if Who I Am is someone that will stand, or someone that will fall.
For
me, the development of resolve is tested every day. I have stood up and made
decisions, and it is almost as if by design I am immediately tested in a way
that is greater than I what I believed myself to be capable of. As if the
experience of power and mightiness that I feel in that moment of making a
decision is matched by a direct challenge, and as a result, I fall often.
This
is because it is not about the way one ‘feels’ when a decision is made, but rather
how one directs self through all the moments before, the moments that led to
the opening up of a moment of opportunity, where one can really make the decision to take a stand.
For
me, there were moments where I was able to stand and face myself. These were
moments where I believed it to be too big or too overwhelming, yet I was able
to find a place within myself where there was safe quietness, a true source of
power.
What
I learned was, it is never about the feeling or experience one has while making
a decision. In fact, if there is any kind of feeling or emotion in the moment
of making a decision, I can be sure that I will be tested and fall. This is
because thoughts, feelings and emotions do not create a stable foundation base
from which to stand. They are erratic, unpredictable and come and go seemingly
on their own. We don’t’ necessarily have control over our feelings and emotions
in a way that is constructive or beneficial, in fact, we most often seem to use
them in the form of self-sabotage an self-manipulation. So, how can we depend
on these undependable, sporadic and non-substantial things to face our darkest
hour? In my experience, we cannot.
Real strength and resolve comes from directing oneself in the decisions one
makes every day, in many many seemingly insignificant, or even significant
moments. When I faced myself in my darkest hour and was finally able to stand,
it was only after I had spent weeks doing a little bit every day. Most days
there is no feeling or experience of advancement or result, and one has to
direct self with common sense, within knowing what is best. Testing, playing with
all things, and keeping what is good.
I am still faced with challenges every day, and I have to make the decision to stop, to start, to move, to look ,to stay still, over and over again, in many moments throughout the day. It can be a bit of a jungle out there, but we each have more power than we may think.
For
me, the tools and skills I have developed for myself have been a result of
studying and applying the Desteni principles. It is the only way I have had any
real effect. It takes time, but not an endless amount of time.
Check
out this blog for some insight into daily accumulation: Creating Structure(s)
To take the
first step in supporting YOURSELF, you can check out the following links that
led me to take the first steps toward healing, and continue to support me to
this day:
SOUL –
The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people
interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
1 comments
Amazing Blog. Thank you.
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